Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Things I Like About Living Here
If you almost cut someone off in traffic on accident, but wave and smile an apology, they wave and smile back, instead of calling you a "stupid bitch."
Whether be the weather
It had gotten cold and suddenly it's sort of warm again: high of 74° and sunnyish. I think to myself: I should ride my bike to work since this might be my last chance before the true cold comes. But I tell myself I need to replace the chain, that I'll hate riding home this evening as it starts to get dark. And so I tell myself that I will bike this weekend, to the library, the city, a museum. But I check the weather. There is an expected 20° temperature drop and rain. Rain. To add further rust to my bicycle chain.
Monday, October 19, 2009
When it moves
Things are picking up.
I wake up every morning feeling anxious and worried and I sit in bed until I think of all of the things about which I could (whether or not I should) feel anxious and worried about so that these uncomfortable feelings are attached to many facts (or just fears)...and it is only then that I can get out of bed. This is a strange unpleasant way to live my life and so I pray about it but haven't really let go because I think I am so afraid of new feelings that I force myself to wallow in them.
But now, the facts that I attach my anxieties to are my progress. Things are finally going somewhere with my work and now, instead of being worried that I won't accomplish anything, I am worried that I will screw up the things I've finally started to accomplish. I stood in front of a room of firemen and stuttered and mumbled and stared at everything but their faces...but then tried to learn from my mistakes.
Non-work life wise, I am optimistic. I spend too much time alone but I have found a church that I am enjoying, a once-a-month movie event that I have been to once and had a blast at (I love biting my tongue and hearing the amazing, and sometimes not-so-amazing, insights of non-film buffs talking about a film in an honest and real way), a free sewing class that I hope will some day lead me to actually completing a project, and an organization that pretty much focuses on what I want to do with my life: InkTank.
My incredible parents fascilitated a vacation to Chicago, my first time in that beautiful city, and it was the further boost in morale that I needed. Today my tummy aches but tomorrow I look forward to going back into work and fighting my anxieties with consistent productivity.
I wake up every morning feeling anxious and worried and I sit in bed until I think of all of the things about which I could (whether or not I should) feel anxious and worried about so that these uncomfortable feelings are attached to many facts (or just fears)...and it is only then that I can get out of bed. This is a strange unpleasant way to live my life and so I pray about it but haven't really let go because I think I am so afraid of new feelings that I force myself to wallow in them.
But now, the facts that I attach my anxieties to are my progress. Things are finally going somewhere with my work and now, instead of being worried that I won't accomplish anything, I am worried that I will screw up the things I've finally started to accomplish. I stood in front of a room of firemen and stuttered and mumbled and stared at everything but their faces...but then tried to learn from my mistakes.
Non-work life wise, I am optimistic. I spend too much time alone but I have found a church that I am enjoying, a once-a-month movie event that I have been to once and had a blast at (I love biting my tongue and hearing the amazing, and sometimes not-so-amazing, insights of non-film buffs talking about a film in an honest and real way), a free sewing class that I hope will some day lead me to actually completing a project, and an organization that pretty much focuses on what I want to do with my life: InkTank.
My incredible parents fascilitated a vacation to Chicago, my first time in that beautiful city, and it was the further boost in morale that I needed. Today my tummy aches but tomorrow I look forward to going back into work and fighting my anxieties with consistent productivity.
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Food
One of the biggest adjustments for me here is figuring out how to eat on a budget and how to eat healthily. I've managed to eat but I haven't gotten the healthy part down. I will occasionally be posting recipes and stories of my kitchen mishaps at my food blog, What I Like to Eat.
Fortunate Find
I found this fortune at the bottom of a box I was (finally) emptying. I wonder if it is as auspicious a find as it seems.
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