What I'm eating for dinner

As I was leaving work I saw a blond, Caucasian woman with dreadlocks secured neatly to her head, in a beautiful wrap skirt, walking with a beautiful little girl with a shaved head, save for long bangs, wearing a stylish, colorful outfit and I thought, "How appropriate. I wonder if their life is the way it looks it is, if it is really as romantic as I imagine it to be."

I got to drive more through other parts of Kentucky. It is so beautiful right now! There are cows and the leaves are bright oranges and reds and deep browns and mellow yellow tans. Some of the buildings are still quaint, men in trucks, women on tractors, eying me as any would eye a suspicious stranger. I drive along the highway and can't imagine ever not being there.

I made a delicious tuna salad. If you like tuna salad you might find tuna salad difficult to make not-delicious but I've made bland tuna salad before and eaten just regular boring tuna salad before. Now I know how to make it the right amount of spicy and the right amount of sweet; how to put in enough curry to be detectable but not too much to overpower the tuna flavor. I spread a spoonful of this tuna on slice of Aunt Millie's Lite Whole Grain Bread, sprinkled some pre-shredded "casserole" cheese on top, and put it in the toaster oven. It came out delicious.

Then I pulled one of the cinnamon rolls I baked (from scratch) a few nights ago out of the freezer and put it into the microwave. The taste was so perfect for this day, even better than it was out of the oven, that I thought I needed to make it more perfect. There was no sound in my apartment as I was bouncing from doing work work to scanning pages from recipe books to taking bites from my cinnamon roll. I put on a Joni Mitchell record and I am listening to it now and drinking an-alcohol-free, crushed-red-pepper-infused Hot Places I've Never Been Chocolate.

I love Joni Mitchell but I wonder who loved her first. Whose skin am I trying to wear? Where did I see that painting that I decided should be the ideal for my own life? I feel if the perfectness of this all was more authentic I wouldn't feel so strongly a need to tell the world about it. Or maybe it's too perfect to be spending it alone?